I PM'd also, haven't heard from him either.

Let's hope he's just kinda' busy, enjoying whatever he's up to.

Rick

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, “Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”
“Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”)

“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informs her.
“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing, I’m reading.”

“Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”

“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says the woman.

“But I haven’t even touched you,” says the game warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”

“Ummm...Have a nice day ma’am”, and he left.

MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads. It’s likely she can also think.

Why Women Make Better Assassins

---

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were three finalists: two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair.....kill her!!!" The man said “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife”. The agent said, “Then you are not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home".

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can’t kill my wife." The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes, so take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping sweat from her brow. “This gun is loaded with blanks”, she said. “I had to kill him with the chair.”

The Jewish Quarterback
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Baltimore Ravens. The
only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the
colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a
ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank .
In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a
truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story
window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect Arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football.
And the Ravens go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach
asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his
Mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says." You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the
greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring
fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are
gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two
brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to
keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady
pauses, and then tearfully says,...
"I will never forgive you for making us move to Baltimore !!!

A six year old goes to the hospital with his grandma to visit his grandpa.
When they get to the hospital, he runs ahead of his grandma and bursts into his grampa's room.
"Grampa, Grampa," he says excitedly, " make a noise like a frog!"
"What?" said his grandpa.
"Make a noise like a frog because grandma said that as soon as you croaked, we're going to Disneyland!!!"

The Lexus Mechanic



A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a LS460 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage -
"Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked,
"So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new.
So how is it that I make $48,000 a year and you make $1.7 million when you and I are doing basically
the same work?

The cardiologist paused, leaned over and whispered to the mechanic,
"Try doing it with the engine running."