anthem wrote: The old ones are the best...

I resemble that comment... let's not forget the convenience of the format. It's great to be able to take the music on the go in my car and to be able to add them to my iTunes account...

On another note, is anyone else not digging this new format on the forum?

Cheers,

T Cobe

Mr. Charles Barkley's take on this new format:



Cheers,

T Cobe

I went to the supermarket today , and I was there for literally 5 minutes.
When I came out there was a cop writing a parking ticket.
So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Dick headed cop. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires!

So I then asked him if his psychiatrist makes him lie face down on the couch cause he's so ugly.
He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on until he had placed 5 tickets on the winshield... the more I insulted him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner.

Fartball*~*

An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying
there a few minutes the old man farts and says, "Seven
Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was
that?"

The old man replied, "It''s fart football."

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown,
tie score."

After about five minutes the old man farts again and
says, "Touchdown, I''m ahead 14 to 7."

Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says,
"Touchdown, tie score."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says,
"Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."

Now the pressure''s on and the old man refuses to get
beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail.
Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives
it everything he has, but instead of farting, he poops
in the bed.

The wife looks and says, "What the hell was that?"

The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides."

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You have $9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch.”

The man perks up.

“So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.”

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”

“Yes I have,” says the man.

“And has she helped you make a decision?”

“Yes” says the man.

“What is your decision?” asks the doctor.

“We're getting granite counter tops.”

The Flying Chicken

The true story of the Chicken Gun. Too funny not to share! Sometimes it does take a rocket scientist!

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.

WHEN THE GUN WAS FIRED, THE ENGINEERS STOOD SHOCKED AS THE CHICKEN HURLED OUT OF THE BARREL, CRASHED INTO THE SHATTERPROOF SHIELD, SMASHED IT TO SMITHEREENS, BLASTED THROUGH THE CONTROL CONSOLE, SNAPPED THE ENGINEER'S BACK-REST IN TWO, AND EMBEDDED ITSELF IN THE BACK WALL OF THE CABIN, LIKE AN ARROW SHOT FROM A BOW. THE HORRIFIED BRITS SENT NASA THE DISASTROUS RESULTS OF THE EXPERIMENT, ALONG WITH THE DESIGNS OF THE WINDSHIELD AND BEGGED THE U.S SCIENTISTS FOR SUGGESTIONS.

NASA RESPONDED WITH A ONE-LINE MEMO

"DEFROST THE CHICKEN."