anthem wrote: Gravitationally Compensated Audio Cables

If the moon’s gravitational pull has the power to move entire oceans, imagine what it does to the tiny electrons traveling through your audio cables. In light of this, DH Labs has created the world’s first gravitationally compensated audio cables. By using proprietary electro-gyroscopic technology, DH Labs has defeated the laws of physics, and the results are spectacular. This new technology necessitates maintaining a double inventory, as all cables shipped to the southern hemisphere must have their conductor strands wound in the opposite direction. Price: $7000 per meter.

Wait, there’s more:

To make the best even better, our Earth MFC (Magnetic Field Cancellation) option can be added for only $30,000. As the name implies, Earth MFC cancels the negative effects of the earth’s magnetic field, using precision calibrated magnetometers coupled to proprietary monitoring circuitry. The monitoring circuitry is necessary to maintain calibration should the planet’s magnetic poles ever reverse.

The net effect of these revolutionary new technologies is the purest sound ever heard."

Hey, Anthem

I'm looking for some advice here: if I get the Gravitationally compensated audio cables for only $7,000 per meter, do you think I should also get the Magnetic Field cancellation option for only $30,000??????? The field does reverse every 20,000 years or so, and who knows?

OR, just thinking out loud here, maybe think about T Ref's instead??? Choices, choices!!!!

Rick

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.
Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, Kin ya swallar?'
The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?'
The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.
The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I never seed nobody done it.

Tales of a Vet

Yesterday, I wore my Vietnam Veterans cap when I went to Wal-Mart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the "Walmartians" is always good for some comic release. Besides I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent this establishment.
But, I digress... enough of my psychological fixations.
While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Vietnam Vet?"
"No," I replied.
"Then why are you wearing that cap?"
"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812."
I thought this was a snappy retort.
"The War of 1812, huh?" the "Walmartian" queried, "When was that?"
God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936,"
I answered, as straight-faced as possible.
He pondered my response for a moment and then asked, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?"
"It was a Black Operation. No one is supposed to know about it."
This was beginning to be way too much fun!
"Dude! Really?" he exclaimed.
"How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"
I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy, and in a low voice said. "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."
"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"
"Not really. The other guys were all wearing white camouflage."
The moron nodded knowingly.
"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't have said anything."
"Oh yeah?" he gave me that, 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"
With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?"
The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door. By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack, she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.
After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw the Dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction.
Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped into the car and sped out of the parking lot in a flurry of dust.
What a great time I had!
Tomorrow I'm going back with my Homeland Security cap.
Then the next day I will go to the County Welfare office so I can wear my Border Patrol hat, and see how long it takes to empty out the whole place.
Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of cap!

There was this Chinese man named Jose Gonzalez. One day his coworker got curious and asked him how did he ever wind up with a name like that if he was Chinese?

Jose explained. "When I came to this country and went through immigration, they asked each of us our name. The guy in front of me said his name was 'Jose Gonzalez.' Then they asked me, and I said, 'Sam Ting.'"

Funny Bro Anthem!
Have any of you guys heard from Bro T Cobe?????
I am missing him and getting a little worried why he has gone AWOL.
I wrote him a PM but not sure how or IF those ever get delivered, I never get any notice.
I Hope and Pray he is OK and would love to hear from him.
He is always such a steady voice of calm and reason here.
OK, God Bless,
Wayne

Nope haven't heard from him. I know basically where he lives and checked the obituaries but didn't find anything...that's a Good sign!

As Judge Judy says...he's on vacation, in jail, in the hospital on a respirator, or dead.