A very successful attorney parked his brand new Porsche 911 Turbo in front of
his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues.
As he was getting out, a truck came barreling down the road, drifted right and
completely tore off the driver's door. Fortunately, a cop was close
enough to see the accident and pulled up behind the now door-less Porsche
with his lights flashing.

Before the cop had a chance to ask any questions, the attorney started screaming
hysterically about how his precious Porsche, which he had just purchased the
day before, was completely ruined and no matter how any car body shop tried
to make it new again, would never be the same.

After the lawyer finally wound down from his rant, the cop shook his head in disbelief,
"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said, "You are so focused on your possessions that you neglect the most important things in life."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer.
The cop replied, "Don't you even realize that your left arm is missing? It was severed
when the truck hit you!"

"OHH, MY GOD!" screamed the lawyer. . . "My Rolex!"

Walks on the Moon!

In case you didn't already know this little titbit of true trivia, it might make you chuckle when you read it.

On July 20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 Lunar Module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon.
His first words after stepping on the moon, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind,” were televised to earth and heard by millions…*

But just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark, "Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky".
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut.
However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the “Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky” statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year old question to Armstrong.
This time he finally responded.
Mr. Gorsky had died, so Neil Armstrong felt he could now answer the question.

In 1938, when he was a kid in a small mid-western town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard.
His friend hit the ball, which landed in his neighbor’s yard by their bedroom window.
His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky.

As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky.
“Sex?!, you want sex?! - you’ll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!”

TRUE STORY

Hunting Humor...

Two hunters went deer hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female deer costume and learned the mating call of a female deer.

The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the buck, then come out of the costume and shoot the buck. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the deer love call.

Before long, their call was answered as a huge buck came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.

When the buck was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?"

The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."

R.M. Williams boots !


A retired couple, Denise and Bob, moved to Tamworth.

Bob always wanted a pair of R.M. WILLIAMS boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different about me?'

Denise looked him over. 'No Darl.'

Frustrated, Bob stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for new R.M. Williams boots.

Again he asked Denise, a little louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?'

Denise looked up and exclaimed, 'Bob, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow, 'cause its always that way'

Furious, Bob yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, DENISE? DO YOU?'

'No Darl', she replied.

'IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT ME NEW R.M. WILLIAMS BOOTS!!!!'

Without changing her expression, Denise replied,

'Shoulda bought a hat, Bob. Shoulda bought a hat.'

Love these signs.

And My Wife thought this the BIGGEST joke of them all.